If you take a look at any mental health social media feed you’ll probably notice that the words ‘Self-Care’ pop up frequently. It’s a concept that therapists have been teaching to their clients for some time but in recent years it’s become popular in mainstream media and it now seems everyone is talking about it. But what does it actually mean? Why is it important? And how do you actually do it? I hope to share the answers to these questions with you in a series of blog posts over the coming weeks. So I invite you to grab a hot drink, settle down in a comfy spot and take a few minutes to reflect on what self-care might mean for you.
Interpreted literally, self-care can be considered as ‘caring for one’s self.’ One way to start thinking about this is by considering what it means for you to meet your needs as a human being. We all have a series of needs, or requirements if you like, that have to be fulfilled in order to function well. Much like putting oil and fuel in a car and taking it for an annual service, human beings need to have these needs met in order to move through life with ease, adaptability and resilience.
Some of these requirements seem more obvious. Basic needs include having enough to eat, a roof over our head, getting enough sleep, feeling loved and valued and being in healthy relationships with other people. Then there are more subtle needs; to have fun and adventure, to occupy our time with meaningful activity, to feel challenged, to belong to a group or community, to feel seen and heard by those around us.
When we are able to meet most of these needs for a majority of the time, life feels easier and more satisfying. We are less likely to experience that niggle of ‘things just not being quite right.’
Clients sometimes ask me ‘but isn’t self-care selfish?’ and they are often surprised to hear my response. Many people aren’t used to giving themselves permission to meet their own needs. But when we do this we are in a much better position to give to those we love and to fulfil all our many roles. Rather than being selfish, taking care of yourself becomes a gift to both you and others. You are able to be fully present in your relationships, work and other responsibilities, as a whole and replete individual. In short, everybody wins!
You might like to spend a few minutes journalling around the following prompt, completing the sentence as many times as necessary until you feel satisfied that you’ve identified as many of the conditions you require to thrive, as possible:
I need…
Once you have a clear idea of what your needs are, you can begin to consider how you can meet them and take care of yourself. In my next blog post, I will share with you some ideas about how you might do this in a way which is personalised to you.
Warm wishes,
Nicky